Kahlua Cupcakes

So this is me late night posting and finally posting again after over a year. I swear the past year was filled with so many ups and downs, it was like a roller coster I couldn't get off of. I should of blogged instead of spend my time over analyzing every aspect of my life and watching a lot of episodes of random shows on Netflix. Don't get me started on Netflix. I know there's a post in here about me loving Netflix and wishing I could spend my days just watching show after show on there. I almost did this past year, all because I was depressed for part of it or just in need of a distraction. I have learned my lesson partially. Still use Netflix, but have learned that other things can be a better form of coping with my emotions. Case in point: Baking. It helps me focus more on what I'm doing instead of the drama that might have occurred that day with the boyfriend or the narcissistic friend(that's too long a story to tell). So here I am finally getting to what I said I would do more than a year ago. I am finally going to give you the recipe to one of my favorite cupcakes. These were so good. I'm not a big fan of chocolate. I mean of course I love a good hershey bar(with almonds) here and there, but I'm not going to run out and buy a chocolate cake to devour when I'm in a really low mood. I'd rather turn to gelato. So when I had to use my Kahlua for something, cause my roommates last year didn't enjoy it either, I turned to the internet to find a recipe I could use it in. When that recipe turned out the kailua filled, double chocolate chunk cupcake, I was like, hey, I don't usually care for that much chocolate but I'll go for it and maybe my friends and roommates will like it. And they did. Too bad the recipe made around twelve, which caused me to make more. Even ended up telling my boss about them and taking her some. I must say I enjoyed the taste of the kahlua in the buttercream. It added a flavor I didn't expect. And since I didn't have the proper tools to shave the chocolate, it ended up being chunkier than what I guess it was suppose to be, but everyone seemed to like that. So I say the chunkier the better!
So here's the recipe to Kailua Double Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes:

ingredients:

1 1/8 cups all purpose flour

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

2 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup kahlua

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted

4 ounces of high-quality dark chocolate, coarsely chopped

1/2 cup white chocolate chips

Frosting

1 cup (2 sticks) sweet cream butter, softened to room temperature

3 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1 tablespoon kahlua

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

directions:

Cupcakes

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a bowl, whisk egg and sugar until smooth and no lumps remain. Add melted butter and vanilla and mix until combined. Sift dry ingredients together and add to wet mixture. Mix until batter is smooth with a large spoon, then whisk in kahlua. Fold in chocolate. Line a muffin tin with liners and using a heaping 1/4 cup measure, add batter to each cup until 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-18 minutes. Let cool completely before frosting.

Frosting

Beat butter in the bowl of your electric mixer until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes. Add in powdered sugar gradually (about 1/2 cup at a time) with the mixer on low speed, slowly increasing the speed until it's combined. Add in vanilla extract and kahlua, then beat on medium-high speed for 3-4 minutes, occasionally scraping down the sides if needed, until white and fluffy. Frost cupcakes and garnish with grated white and dark chocolate.

Got the recipe originally from: howsweeteats.com

Cupcakes, Oh How I Love Them!!!

So I'm a baker, and one of my favorite things to bake is cupcakes. Since turning 21 a few months ago, I have started making all of them with alcohol. I find it more interesting. So I've decided that I'd start posting the recipes for these cupcakes. I've found pretty much all of them online by using google(that wonderful thing!) I tend to make adjustments depending on if I think something else will do better. I may one day just decide to make my own recipe. I might just do this because I always have excess alcohol and don't always want to drink it. So making random desserts, of course mainly cupcakes, would probably be a better use of it than getting drunk haha. Also sometimes the types of alcohol I buy I try it, and I don't always like the taste of it even mixed with things. Case in point: Kahlua. It's fine, I just won't drink it. I didn't much care for it, so I started making a lot of cupcakes with it. I had bought it for a tiramisu I was making. The recipe was from Drunken Desserts and this was the tipsy version and it called for other liqueurs too. So the tiramisu recipe barely used any of it, so I was left with a lot of Kahlua. So to me the best thing was to find cupcake recipes that would use it, yet I still have some left. I guess I'm going to have to make some more cupcakes. haha. So here are some tipsy cupcakes I've made these past few months.

Margarita Cupcakes

Pink Champagne Cupcakes

(Sorry my piping skills sucked that day because I didn't have the proper cupcake tip)

 Strawberry Chocolate Vodka Cupcakes

(This was a variation on Raspberry Chocolate Vodka from The Food Network)

 White Russian Cupcakes

Kahlua Double Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes

So I will definitely post the recipes soon. I'll also be making a whole lot more. I have so many more to try and so much more alcohol to use haha. 

For now this is all,

Alisha 

Tattoos

So these are my tattoos. I got both of them over a year ago, the pink breast cancer ribbon as a Christmas gift and the other as a 20th birthday present both from my brother. They mean more to me than I can express in this post. I do know I want another one either on my shoulder, behind my ear, or my ribs. I want the one on my ribs to say "when there's no one else left to burn, you set yourself on fire." I got it from To Write Love On Her Arms, the same organization that my other word tattoo comes from. I really admire what that organization does, and I support it completely because they help people who struggle with the same type of problems I have gone through since high school.

Well I don't know what else I could say, well there's a lot I could say, but I'm going to end it here. I just thought I needed to post my tattoos. They're on my arms, at the wrist.

Adios,
Alisha

So it's been almost a year...

And a lot has happened since I last posted. One being that my hair is many different colors yet still looks perfectly normal(weird, I know). Another is I got a new phone a few months ago and I guess I can post more because I got the blogger app and don't have to worry about having my laptop with me. Another is that i couldn't go back to school this year due to financial reasons. I got a new job that is more stressful than it should be. There's still a guy, the same guy. I actually had a boyfriend over the summer, not the guy I've had a crush on for nearly 2 years. A different one, but that ended because it turned out to be more trouble than anything else. I at least found out that while I'm still trying to get through school, I don't need to be in a serious relationship unless I really want to be. Case in point: one of my guy friends keeps trying to get me with my long time crush, but he doesn't understand that I don't want anything more especially since it would be long distance, been there done that, not doing it again. This guy friend is a close enough friend that I tell him a lot but I can't seem to tell him about my crush. He knows the guy, but I don't tell him everything that's going on, just too awkward. So I can't really explain that my crush and I are just friends, really just "friends" and right now that's all I need. He thinks we should be couple but I don't want that and if I did I would talk to said crush about it. So that's where I am now with the guy situation. I feel I need a new crush, just to get my friends to leave me alone about the current one.
Another thing that is going is that it's my birthday next week, my 21st birthday! I'm excited, yet not. See I have a guy friend(different one) who has the same birthday as me, he's also turning 21. We've known for 2,3 years that we have the same birthday, so we celebrate together. This year has been particularly annoying because he hasn't been a lot help with deciding what to do. We're turning 21, we should do something special, but what we've decided doesn't seem special to me at all. And recent events with other friends has made rethink celebrating with some of them at all. I'm not there this year, but my closest friends are in Clemson, and I really want to see them, but I've just gotten so fed up with all of it. I tried to tell them that this stupid planning out things business has just upset me, but they don't get it or ignore it. I want to be spontaneous, so something adventurous. But a lot of them don't seem to want to go for that. I'm so tired of it that I don't care anymore if we just sit on our asses and be a bunch of homebodies. One of friends really suggested we stay in and watch movies. I wanted to smack her. I'm not watching a movie for my 21st. Another suggested the park, what about the park screams 21st birthday??? That's for 5 year olds. The problem is I don't know what to tell them I want I do. I tried suggesting something I thought would be fun, a scavenger around campus, but my friends are too lazy to come up with any clues for it. I either need new friends, or to pretend I'm happy with what we do, I'll probably choose the latter. I'm not the type of person to drop friends over something like this. Oh but typing this is just making me even more upset, so I give up know and will post what else happened over the past year later.

Adios,
Alisha

Curly vs. Straight

Just thought I would post a photo of my hair as it is now, straight, and how it is usually, curly.

So this is how my hair looks straight and curly. I don't know which one I like half the time. Most of the time I like my hair straight more, but I feel when my hair is curly it's more me. I feel like I look like a different person with my different hair styles. 

Decided to try Something New...

By this I mean I've decided to start talking about something different. I notice that I mainly talk about school and guys, but this blog is about who I am(yea I know since I'm a college student, school and boys are pretty much who I am, but there is more to me). One thing I wanted to start talking about is my hair. I believe my hair is a big part of me. A lot of people Identify me by my hair. I'm also mixed, so I have a really interesting hair type or so I've been told. My hair has a mind of it's own, and I've been trying to get it to listen to me, so I thought while I was trying to figure out what I want to do with my hair, I would start posting about it. This blog is not going to be only about my hair, it's still going to include anything else that goes on in my world. But this is about who I am, and again I tell you that my hair is a big part of my life. I have days that I love it and days that I absolutely hate it. Well anyways, that's all I wanted to post about. Keep a look out for more. 

All I Want to Do is Sleep...

I've been so tired lately. I just want to sleep, but can't. I for some reason stay up all night, and when I do finally get some sleep, it's not very much. Right now I'm extremely tired but know that I probably won't get to take a nap. I've gone through this before, basically for years now. I use to take something to help, but I have nothing now, and it had stopped helping anyways. Well anyways this post really has no point to it. I've just decided that I wanted to start posting more, and I guess that means that I will have a lot of posts that are just random, and pretty much about nothing(case in point: this post). So to leave this one a bit of a happier note: I may get to see the guy that I've had a crush on since last year. I'm trying to decide whether I still feel the same or I just want to move on. I don't know, maybe I'll figure it out soon. Anyways, I'm just happy to get to see him, and that ends this lovely post. OH and Happy Friday!! It took it forever to get here, but it's here! And if I don't post on Valentine's day, Happy early Valentine's Day! I'm not much of a romantic, I really only care about the candy such as is the reason I love Halloween(besides the cool costumes), but other than that Valentine's Day isn't that big of deal. So I hope it's good for everyone who loves this holiday.

Adios,

Alisha

Don't know what to call this one...

Well it's been a while since I posted on here or my other blog. I blame being busy with school and just not feeling like typing anything.
Anyways, I guess I need to do an update on what's going in my life. Where to start??? I guess I can start by saying that I'm back at school. I'm happy to be back mainly because of my friends and a guy but other than that, the semester has been ok. I can honestly tell you that my winter break wasn't that great. I wish it was better. I loved seeing my family, but couldn't stand being back in my hometown. I realize every time I go home that the only thing I ever miss is my family and a few friends, never anything else about my hometown. Most of the time I can't wait to get back to school. OH! I forgot to mention one of my christmas presents I got from my brother. It's a tattoo. It's the pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. My aunt had breast cancer, and we were very close, so I got my first tattoo as a sort of dedication to her. I'll put up a picture later. I've been wanting a tattoo for years, but didn't decide to get it until my brother was asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I have come to the realization that I don't really care if people give me presents for holidays or my birthday. It's no longer a big deal like it was when I was a kid. I do, however, love giving others presents. I think it's fun to find the perfect gift for a friend or family member. Last year, I loved looking for stuff to give my twin for Christmas and our birthday. I couldn't wait to see her reaction to what I got her. This year, I couldn't wait to get back to school to give my roommate(this year my roommate and I are really close friends, and love being roommates) and some of my good friends their gifts. My roommate is obsessed with Chris Brown and believes that she will marry him(If you knew her, you wouldn't doubt her on this). So I went on a search for a gift that involved this. I managed to find a shirt that said, "The Future Mrs. Chris Brown." It also happened to be pink or more salmon, her favorite color. She literally couldn't contain her excitement when I gave it to her. For my other friends, I had my mom crochet some scarfs in their favorite color, and for one friend in the multitude of colors that she asked for(which happened to make the scarf look like it was from Harry Potter). I also crocheted some of them a beanie in their favorite colors. I didn't mind doing any of this because I love crocheting and it distracted me over my break, and got me out of my head. Anyways, I guess that explains why I love giving rather than receiving, and also catches you up on some of the things that have been going on. Hopefully after this upcoming weekend, I have some even more exciting news to tell you.

Adios,

Alisha

It's Been While...

So it's been a couple of months since I've done a post for this blog. A lot has happened since the end of September. Too much that could be talked about in one post, so I'm going to shorten it quite a bit. So at the beginning of the semester I liked this one guy and we started hanging out, then we just stopped and didn't see each other that much except on rare occasions that we happen to run into each other. Before this I happen to meet my roommate's cousin, and we hit it off. Only problem is he goes to school in a different state. But we still end up talking like everyday. Then he comes to visit me, and the next week is the worse week of my life and we end up deciding(more like he decides) to not make it official and just be friends, but we haven't talked, not one word, in almost a month. So then I end up running into the guy from earlier in the semester and we end up deciding to catch up, and I realize I still have those same feelings as I did before. This weekend we hung out, and more than what I expected happened, so now I have this huge urge to tell him how I feel. I'm hoping that I don't get a rejection because I don't know if I can handle it or if it will even make sense to me. But I'm trying to go with the flow and not over think things. I just want to see what happens. Anyways this semester has been filled with experiences I never expected to happen. I can say that right now I'm actually happy for once. It truly amazes me how much I am. 

Why Can't Life be Like the Movies?

Why can't my life be like a romantic comedy where in the end everything works out like it's suppose to. You end up with the right guy and everything seems perfect. You never know how life is afterwards but you believe in your heart that it all works out perfectly. That their lives are going to be great now since the two people that were meant to be are together and always will be.

Life seems to only be like this in my dreams. Nothing ever goes like the movies and if it does, then I find myself questioning it and wondering when I'll wake up. Life isn't perfect. You don't accept that everything works out as soon as that final kiss happens. You don't accept not knowing what happens after the credits role. I find myself nowadays hating romantic comedies because they get this so-called awesome guy who just happens to be perfect for them, while you're questioning yourself about why you can't find that guy for you. Romantic comedies need to go jump off a cliff. I sound like a cynic and someone who doesn't believe in love, but I do. I'm even happy right now, but I still hate romantic comedies. Only a few of them are worth watching. Most of them have the same plot line, just different characters and maybe a different scenario, they all still end the same with me wanting to throw the DVD out the window. You can easily predict the ending. Yet with me thinking this, I still wish my life was like it. If only. 

Hmmmmmm

Well I have no idea what to title this post, which is why it got the title it got.

Anyways, what I really want to post about is the fact that I am a person who tends to obsess over something so much that it becomes the one thing I focus on. For instance, when I like a guy, which is the thing I'm mainly referring to now. I have problems focusing on anything other than whether or not I will see/talk/hang out/ anything that has to do with him. It's completely annoying but I can't help myself. I really want to think about something else but have a hard time with that. I tend to analyze everything just wanting to know what it may mean. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to guys. Last year I had the same problem, but still managed to get work done. I don't know why this year is differently. Maybe because I've been sick and obsessing over a guy at the same time. So I've decided to not try too hard with this guy and not force anything so I can focus on my school work and other important things. I have no idea if this will work but it may help me finally be able to get through my last class on Mondays and Wednesdays without worrying about whether I'm going to see him or not. But if I know me, which lately I think I don't know myself that much at all, then this will most likely not happen. I wish I could do this, and hopefully I can. Wish me luck!!!

When My Life Seems LIke It's Going Awesome, I Just Get Worse

By this I mean that for 3 weeks now I have been on and off sick with different things. It makes no sense to me what so ever. This week has been the worse. By Friday last week I finally got to feeling better and the party turned out to go better than expected. Still not sure about how the guy I like feels about me, but at least we talk to each other and hang out. I know I want more, but I have no idea about him. Anyways, this week again Monday was good for only one reason, but mostly that day was horrible. I felt terrible and had to leave work early. I haven't even been back to work lately because of how horrible I feel. My mom thinks it's the flu. I have never had the flu, so I don't know what it's like. And if I do have it I really don't want to get others sick. I have also missed more classes than ever this week. I hate that part because I know I do not need to be missing classes. I have also barely eaten anything and no medicine seems to help me. I don't want to go back to Redfern(the student health center here on campus) because last time they didn't help me at all. All I really want is one week where I don't feel extremely crappy. Yesterday was pretty bad too. I had an exam that I couldn't miss because medical excuses for this class don't allow for a make up exam. I have no idea if I did as well as I could have on the exam. Right now all I want is to be my normal self again. Is that too much to ask? Tomorrow I plan on going to work, apologizing for missing so much. and going to all my classes because none of them can be missed. I will have to deal with the way I feel and get through the day no matter what. I hope I don't lose my job. It's not like I planned to be sick. I even went in Monday planning to stay my whole shift, when 45 minutes in I nearly threw up and had to leave. I think my boss understands. I also don't want to get anyone else sick if I am contagious. I don't know what to do right now, I just want to feel better! 

Can't This Just Go Away

So lately I have been feeling really crappy. There's absolutely no reason for it. Honestly I don't understand why I feel so low. Earlier this week, Monday, I had an awesome day that should have made my whole week awesome, but no by Tuesday I was feeling like I hit rock bottom. Then yesterday I just felt even worse. Not even seeing the guy I have a too huge of crush on made me feel any better. That's when I knew something was wrong. I'm not only feeling low, I feel nauseous, extremely tired, don't want to eat anything, and short of breath. I am at this moment blaming it on this new medicine that I started taking that is suppose to make me feel better but all it's done is make me feel worse. On Monday I was excitedly looking forward to Friday, now I don't know. There's this party going on Friday, that I was happily looking forward to but now it's making me upset. I want to stop taking this medicine, but I'm not sure if that will help or just make things worse. On top of that I need to go see the doctor but today happens to be my busiest day and absolutely have no real free time to stop by there and wait since I have no appointment. I could possibly go tomorrow, but at this point I honestly don't care. That's another thing, I've started thinking I don't care about a lot of things and last week that was not the case. I feel like I have become the most depressed person in the world, and I blame this medicine. I wasn't blaming the medicine, I was thinking it was just me, till I told my mom and she told me to check the side effects of what I'm taking online. Turns out everything I'm going through is a possible side effect of the medicine. Another problem with that is it's not like I got one or two side effects, it's like I've gotten almost all of them! That seems odd to me. So maybe I should see the doctor, but I have no time and can't really make time. So I really have no idea what to do right now. 

Fall Semester Off To A Great Start!

So I've been at back at college for a little over a week now. I've gotta say sophomore year seems like it is going to be a lot better than freshman year. I plan on doing a post about the perks of the second year over the first. Right now all I really want to do is scream, with joy that is. I'm am soooooo happy right now! It's actually kind of weird. It has something to do with a guy, but right now that's all I can say since I don't know how he feels about me. I do know that every time that I see him I get super nervous and it's hard to eat. I've had this feeling before and it's always annoyed me, but it also tells me that I must really like this guy. Another problem is there may be another guy I like because I get the same feeling around him, but again I have no idea about how he feels. I'm terrible at reading guys. Absolutely clueless. I just know I have to figure this out. Now I'm kind of frustrated because I feel like I should like the one I hung out with yesterday, but I don't know anymore. Yet I'm still happy and can't help but smile. Besides this exciting news/dilemma, my classes are going okay and I'm liking my new job. Only problem with them is that I have an 8 am, and it makes me just want to go to sleep. Hopefully that doesn't happen because it's organic chemistry and I need to do well in this class. Anyways this is all I'm going to say for now. I'll post something else later.

Alisha

Finally Over!!!

I have officially finished summer classes! Hooray! Now I can go home and sleep! Finally! The torture that is Chemistry 102 is now over! I can now take a short break and not worry until August 24th, which is when I start back for fall semester. Hopefully I can get through it. I seriously don't think I'll be doing another summer course, especially not at my school. I'm still looking into transferring, but I have till April to send in my applications, that's enough time to decide. I'm hoping this week and a half is enough time for me to catch back up on sleep, who knows if I'll get any during the fall. This break also means that I probably won't be posting that much, not that I do that now. It mainly means I probably won't be posting that much on my other blog, the one I review books on. Well anyways this was just suppose to be a short rant about finally being done with summer classes. I am never going through that again!(Hopefully)

Oh and before I forget, I remember that last year I had posted about working at the post office. Well I thought I would still be working there, but they got bought out. I was going to reapply and work for the new company(they really seemed to want me), but I had applied for a couple of other jobs just in case I wasn't guaranteed a job at the post office, which I wasn't. So I had an interview with Special Collections, a branch of the library, and they were willing to hire me that day. So I went to talk to the new boss at the post office, and he told me he would love to have me but there was no guarantee and actually told me to take the job at the library. I wasn't going to argue. I kind of wanted a change. I loved working at the post office, but I have always loved the library and am hoping that this job goes ok. I also liked that they basically guaranteed me a job as long as I informed them of my plans by today. I had talked to the post office on Monday, and then called them that same day. It's the same hours, same pay. It's just a change of scenery. I won't see people as much, but I'm an introvert, I never really liked dealing with arrogant college students anyways. The only reason I say this is because a bunch of them thought they had a right to tell me how to do my job, when they had no idea what they were talking about. One girl even told me to tell whoever puts stuff in the mailboxes to make sure not to cause the boxes to open because hers was open. After talking to one of my supervisors, I was told there was no way we could of caused her box to come open from putting mail in there. She had left it open. I wasn't mad that she told me this, I was mad at the way she said, all high and mighty. No, I'm not going to miss it. I am going to miss being able to tell my friends when their package has gotten there, or being there when mine got there, and being able to get as soon as I processed it. I loved that part. I also really liked my co workers, but only a few of them are going to still be there. I'm really looking forward to my new job. I will most likely start as soon as fall semester starts, which is another plus since the post office couldn't tell me when I would be able to start back if I did get the job.

Now this is really the end of this post.

Alisha

Change...

I want a new look because I feel like I need a change. I need some clothes that tell people who I am. At the moment, I feel neither my clothes nor my hair tell people anything about me. I have always been someone who never wanted to copy what others wear. I wanted my own style, wanted to be as far from the norm that I could handle. Yet in college, I feel like I didn't do this. I feel like I didn't show people the true me when they first met me. It's hard for me to tell people anything, and I think I try to get some things out by wearing what I wear. Again, I think I toned it down when I got to college. I'm not saying I wore crazy clothes in high school. I did wear a mix between punk and skater and I don't know what. It was whatever I felt like wearing that day. I do know that nowadays I just wear jeans and a t-shirt, and I've come to hate this look. I use to wear skirts with colorful leggings and just as colorful Converse. I think I've dressed like this once, and the Converse weren't as colorful and I looked like I was dressing up and no one knew I would wear something like this on a normal day for me. I don't know what happened to me. I know I learned more about myself once I got to college, but yet I changed the one part of me I thought I knew. I changed how I dressed and I don't like it. I don't like it even more that stores I loved to shop at have started selling clothes I would never wear. I love my shoes, but the one time of the year that I am actually willing to wear sandals(I don't like flip flops, I'll only wear them sometimes) they start selling these ugly gladiator sandals. I loathe those shoes. I don't get why no sandal besides the ones for old ladies can be anything but gladiator sandals. If they aren't than they are also just as ugly or hurt my feet. I've had the hardest time finding a pair of sandals to wear that I've gone most of this summer wearing TOMS. I want to be able to find clothes or shoes that scream me! But so far no such luck. It's either make my clothes, which is not really an option since I know only how to use a sewing machine a little bit, or start dressing like everyone else, which I don't want to happen. Again I say, I want to find a look that screams me. I have no idea what type of look suits me, I thought I did, but I can't really say I classify myself as any sort of type of person anymore. I use to dress like a prep in middle school, that's who I thought I was, then in eighth grade I decided I wanted to go more punk but not that over the top. I kept that up till maybe senior year, which is when I just started wearing anything I felt like and if I liked it, it was what I wore that day. I didn't care what people thought, I only cared what I thought, still do. But now I don't like what I wear and think that I've settle for clothes that I probably never really liked. It's not like I hate everything I own. I actually love a lot of the clothes I own, but I feel that I may have this one shirt, but not say a cool cardigan or cool pants or jeans to go with it so the overall affect is gone. Sometimes I don't wear a certain shirt because I feel that if I wear with the jeans I own then they will tone it down, and I'll not be me anymore on the outside. Same thing goes with my hair. I want it long, but my hair doesn't grow that fast and also I feel my hair style isn't me. I feel I'm having an identity crisis but only with the outside. Like I know who I am on the inside but that doesn't come through on the outside. It is completely frustrating most days, and some days I wish I could go on a shopping spree just to find the me on the outside. Just to find those clothes that will finally show people who I am. Maybe it's just in my head that the person I am doesn't come through when I step outside or when I choose what shirt to wear, maybe others can tell what type of person I am, but I think they can't. It doesn't matter if they can, I want to be the one who notices. Because I haven't ever asked someone what they think when  I know I like what I have on, it's only when I'm not sure, and lately I feel like I need to ask people and I hate that. This is just too frustrating. I'm hoping I can find this new look that shows me.

Alisha

What is in a Name?

Alisha:

Meaning: 'Protected by God', 'Trustworthy', and 'Noble.'


Do I fit my name? Am I really "trustworthy" or "noble". Some days I despise that I was given a name that's common. I don't believe myself to be normal, and would like a name to reflect this.  Maybe the spelling isn't common and maybe some people pronounce my name wrong all the time( they don't say it like you would say Alicia). Maybe I wish I had a cool nickname I would allow everyone to call me instead of my name. I do get called different nicknames but by different people. My sister hardly ever calls me by my name anymore preferring to call me Alishie in this weird voice anytime she gets a chance. I get called LiLi, but I don't think people would think that's from my name. I don't want to be called Ali because that's just as common. I would go by my middle name but I don't think it really fits me either. This post may seem like all I'm doing is dissing my name, but I really just wanted to post about if my name really suits me. 


Noble:
Meaning: of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence


Am I noble? Do I have moral and excellent character? I don't want to sound arrogant because I'm not like that at all. I don't like to talk about myself or brag. I do like to tell stories about things that have happened to me, but I'd rather not really talk that much at all. Anyways I believe that I would want to do the right thing whenever possible, and I don't want to ever cause anyone pain. I usually think a lot about things before I even decide to go through with something. It's just how I am, and sometimes I talk myself out of stuff a lot. So maybe I'm noble, but you would have to ask someone else.


Trustworthy:
Meaning :deserving of trust  or confidence; dependable; reliable:


This is what I really would like to be. I do think I can be trusted and dependable. Like I wrote earlier, I don't want to cause anyone pain, and I don't want to let anyone down. I want to be a person, my friends can turn to when they need me. I hope that this comes out to them and that this is how they would describe me besides quiet and sarcastic. 


I was just wondering about this recently, wondering if anyone else wonders if the meaning of their name matches with how they really are. I'm hoping mine does. It's a great meaning, and the type of person I want to be. I didn't talk about the protected by God part because I think that a lot of people are watched over by God even though I'm not that religious. It's also not mentioned on all the other sites I've looked at. I just wanted to focus on what was mentioned on most of the sites.


So do you believe your name matches with how you are?


Alisha 

What Is Up With This?

So Blogger has decided to change everything about it. I kind of like it, but it's gotten me more obsessed with going on here just to look at my page views. I hardly ever cared before, but now I want to know. I blame you Blogger! It makes me wonder who's looking at my blog, and I don't like that it has these off the wall sites that say they're my referring sites. I keep thinking to myself, "How do people find my blog through a site that sales sunglasses?" It's weird, and I sometimes wonder why Blogger even feels the need to tell me this. I guess I like knowing which of my posts are the most popular, but honestly I don't really care that much. I just really want to know how people find my blog from random sites I have never visited and don't pertain to blogs at all. Is it too much to ask just for that?

Previously on The Alisha Show...

So the last time I had posted I talked about a little dream of mine. Nothing too big like saving the world or becoming Batwoman(which would be awesome!), no it was just about me getting to be lazy and watch movies. I'm thinking this dream can be accomplished at any time in my life, so for now it is on hold. It's on hold primarily because I am back at the oh so wonderful Clemson University taking 2 classes instead of 1 this summer session. I wish I hadn't decided to take summer classes. First summer session fooled me into thinking this wouldn't be that bad, but right now I can't stand my Chem 102 class. I don't have the same professor as I did for Chem 101, and I really wish I did. My Chem 101 professor seemed to teach it better, and I got the material a lot easier. It's not like I'm not understanding it this time, I'm one of the few people who actually passed the first test. It's just that I feel like he doesn't really try to get us to understand it. He also wants to use a book none of us have from Chem 101. A book that all the homework's based on, but it costs at least $200, and I won't ever use it again, I'll be using it for a couple of weeks, and I won't get nearly that much back for it when I try to sell it back(if they even allow me to sell it back). I was thinking about getting the ebook, but that costs $100. They really don't want me to get this book. So for now I'm just dealing with it and trying to get through the class so I can go on to Organic in the fall. Mainly I just want to get to the fall semester. I just want to get through all of it. I really wish I could transfer in the spring but I have to wait a year and transfer in the fall. I'm hoping the next year goes by well. Anyways, last time I talked about My World With Netflix, well these next few weeks I have to live in the awful world of My World Without Netflix. I'm not looking forward to it. Wish me luck with these next few weeks!

Alisha

My Ultimate Dream

This is sad but true, my ultimate dream is to have nothing to do and be able to watch random movies on Netflix all day. Ok maybe some days I actually nearly accomplish this dream. Case in point: Saturday. I spent most of it watching random movies and TV shows just because I could. If only this was my everyday life. Seriously that would be a sad yet happy life. I mainly now just want this dream because of being stuck at Clemson all summer. I hate it! I want to be at home. The thing is if I was at home I wouldn't be watching Netflix all day. I only tend to do that when I don't feel like leaving my dorm room. I use to try to be out of my dorm as much as possible because I didn't like being around my roommate or some of my hallmates. I loathed being in an all girls dorm. Now I actually like my dorm but I also don't mind leaving it, but now I have the luxury of actually feeling comfortable enough that I don't feel I have to leave after being in the room for five minutes.

So about this dream of being blissfully happy about watching Netflix movies or random anime shows. This dream will most likely be achieved one day and then I will most likely have to get a real dream like being first woman president or saving the world from some horrible future disaster. But for now I will stick to my insignificant dream that makes no one happy but me. Well it would make others happy if they knew the awesomeness of what is Netflix watch instantly. Some people may think I'm weird for always watching movies on Netflix. It's not like I can watch movies as soon as they come out on DVD. For that I say, who cares. Most recent movies that have come out I don't even want to see. None of them look that appealing or remotely good. The beauty of watching movies on Netflix is that I can watch older movies and indie films I may have never watched before because I was stuck in the bubble I like to call My World Without Netflix. I only watched blockbusters that were sure to draw 100s of millions of viewers. Now I'd rather watch a indie film that's actually really good than something that was made just to earn people a lot of money. I don't just watch anything that pops up on my suggestions list but that has been super helpful. I've gotten into the habit of reading the reviews. I only started paying attention to the stars and reviews after watching a horrible movie that I later went and looked at and read the reviews about and found that nearly everyone who wrote a review said it was awful. Lesson learned. I do have those occasional moments where I'll still watch a movie because the reviews tend to be all over the place so I must find out for myself. I have found many movies I love and had never heard of until I entered what I like to call My World With Netflix. I enjoy this world quite often, yet I am still amazed I have just spent time writing a post about it. At least it's basically free since my brother made the mistake of giving me his password. I will always be grateful to him for that. I also can't believe I did this post since I'm trying to prove I don't have an addiction, and I don't, I swear!!! I am not an addict!!!! I haven't watched movies on there lately, but since I just posted this I'll probably go on there and find something interesting. It's a great way to waste my time when I've been overwhelmed with studying and stress. But i'm still not an addict!!!