It's Been While...

So it's been a couple of months since I've done a post for this blog. A lot has happened since the end of September. Too much that could be talked about in one post, so I'm going to shorten it quite a bit. So at the beginning of the semester I liked this one guy and we started hanging out, then we just stopped and didn't see each other that much except on rare occasions that we happen to run into each other. Before this I happen to meet my roommate's cousin, and we hit it off. Only problem is he goes to school in a different state. But we still end up talking like everyday. Then he comes to visit me, and the next week is the worse week of my life and we end up deciding(more like he decides) to not make it official and just be friends, but we haven't talked, not one word, in almost a month. So then I end up running into the guy from earlier in the semester and we end up deciding to catch up, and I realize I still have those same feelings as I did before. This weekend we hung out, and more than what I expected happened, so now I have this huge urge to tell him how I feel. I'm hoping that I don't get a rejection because I don't know if I can handle it or if it will even make sense to me. But I'm trying to go with the flow and not over think things. I just want to see what happens. Anyways this semester has been filled with experiences I never expected to happen. I can say that right now I'm actually happy for once. It truly amazes me how much I am. 

Why Can't Life be Like the Movies?

Why can't my life be like a romantic comedy where in the end everything works out like it's suppose to. You end up with the right guy and everything seems perfect. You never know how life is afterwards but you believe in your heart that it all works out perfectly. That their lives are going to be great now since the two people that were meant to be are together and always will be.

Life seems to only be like this in my dreams. Nothing ever goes like the movies and if it does, then I find myself questioning it and wondering when I'll wake up. Life isn't perfect. You don't accept that everything works out as soon as that final kiss happens. You don't accept not knowing what happens after the credits role. I find myself nowadays hating romantic comedies because they get this so-called awesome guy who just happens to be perfect for them, while you're questioning yourself about why you can't find that guy for you. Romantic comedies need to go jump off a cliff. I sound like a cynic and someone who doesn't believe in love, but I do. I'm even happy right now, but I still hate romantic comedies. Only a few of them are worth watching. Most of them have the same plot line, just different characters and maybe a different scenario, they all still end the same with me wanting to throw the DVD out the window. You can easily predict the ending. Yet with me thinking this, I still wish my life was like it. If only. 

Hmmmmmm

Well I have no idea what to title this post, which is why it got the title it got.

Anyways, what I really want to post about is the fact that I am a person who tends to obsess over something so much that it becomes the one thing I focus on. For instance, when I like a guy, which is the thing I'm mainly referring to now. I have problems focusing on anything other than whether or not I will see/talk/hang out/ anything that has to do with him. It's completely annoying but I can't help myself. I really want to think about something else but have a hard time with that. I tend to analyze everything just wanting to know what it may mean. I'm a complete idiot when it comes to guys. Last year I had the same problem, but still managed to get work done. I don't know why this year is differently. Maybe because I've been sick and obsessing over a guy at the same time. So I've decided to not try too hard with this guy and not force anything so I can focus on my school work and other important things. I have no idea if this will work but it may help me finally be able to get through my last class on Mondays and Wednesdays without worrying about whether I'm going to see him or not. But if I know me, which lately I think I don't know myself that much at all, then this will most likely not happen. I wish I could do this, and hopefully I can. Wish me luck!!!

When My Life Seems LIke It's Going Awesome, I Just Get Worse

By this I mean that for 3 weeks now I have been on and off sick with different things. It makes no sense to me what so ever. This week has been the worse. By Friday last week I finally got to feeling better and the party turned out to go better than expected. Still not sure about how the guy I like feels about me, but at least we talk to each other and hang out. I know I want more, but I have no idea about him. Anyways, this week again Monday was good for only one reason, but mostly that day was horrible. I felt terrible and had to leave work early. I haven't even been back to work lately because of how horrible I feel. My mom thinks it's the flu. I have never had the flu, so I don't know what it's like. And if I do have it I really don't want to get others sick. I have also missed more classes than ever this week. I hate that part because I know I do not need to be missing classes. I have also barely eaten anything and no medicine seems to help me. I don't want to go back to Redfern(the student health center here on campus) because last time they didn't help me at all. All I really want is one week where I don't feel extremely crappy. Yesterday was pretty bad too. I had an exam that I couldn't miss because medical excuses for this class don't allow for a make up exam. I have no idea if I did as well as I could have on the exam. Right now all I want is to be my normal self again. Is that too much to ask? Tomorrow I plan on going to work, apologizing for missing so much. and going to all my classes because none of them can be missed. I will have to deal with the way I feel and get through the day no matter what. I hope I don't lose my job. It's not like I planned to be sick. I even went in Monday planning to stay my whole shift, when 45 minutes in I nearly threw up and had to leave. I think my boss understands. I also don't want to get anyone else sick if I am contagious. I don't know what to do right now, I just want to feel better! 

Can't This Just Go Away

So lately I have been feeling really crappy. There's absolutely no reason for it. Honestly I don't understand why I feel so low. Earlier this week, Monday, I had an awesome day that should have made my whole week awesome, but no by Tuesday I was feeling like I hit rock bottom. Then yesterday I just felt even worse. Not even seeing the guy I have a too huge of crush on made me feel any better. That's when I knew something was wrong. I'm not only feeling low, I feel nauseous, extremely tired, don't want to eat anything, and short of breath. I am at this moment blaming it on this new medicine that I started taking that is suppose to make me feel better but all it's done is make me feel worse. On Monday I was excitedly looking forward to Friday, now I don't know. There's this party going on Friday, that I was happily looking forward to but now it's making me upset. I want to stop taking this medicine, but I'm not sure if that will help or just make things worse. On top of that I need to go see the doctor but today happens to be my busiest day and absolutely have no real free time to stop by there and wait since I have no appointment. I could possibly go tomorrow, but at this point I honestly don't care. That's another thing, I've started thinking I don't care about a lot of things and last week that was not the case. I feel like I have become the most depressed person in the world, and I blame this medicine. I wasn't blaming the medicine, I was thinking it was just me, till I told my mom and she told me to check the side effects of what I'm taking online. Turns out everything I'm going through is a possible side effect of the medicine. Another problem with that is it's not like I got one or two side effects, it's like I've gotten almost all of them! That seems odd to me. So maybe I should see the doctor, but I have no time and can't really make time. So I really have no idea what to do right now. 

Fall Semester Off To A Great Start!

So I've been at back at college for a little over a week now. I've gotta say sophomore year seems like it is going to be a lot better than freshman year. I plan on doing a post about the perks of the second year over the first. Right now all I really want to do is scream, with joy that is. I'm am soooooo happy right now! It's actually kind of weird. It has something to do with a guy, but right now that's all I can say since I don't know how he feels about me. I do know that every time that I see him I get super nervous and it's hard to eat. I've had this feeling before and it's always annoyed me, but it also tells me that I must really like this guy. Another problem is there may be another guy I like because I get the same feeling around him, but again I have no idea about how he feels. I'm terrible at reading guys. Absolutely clueless. I just know I have to figure this out. Now I'm kind of frustrated because I feel like I should like the one I hung out with yesterday, but I don't know anymore. Yet I'm still happy and can't help but smile. Besides this exciting news/dilemma, my classes are going okay and I'm liking my new job. Only problem with them is that I have an 8 am, and it makes me just want to go to sleep. Hopefully that doesn't happen because it's organic chemistry and I need to do well in this class. Anyways this is all I'm going to say for now. I'll post something else later.

Alisha

Finally Over!!!

I have officially finished summer classes! Hooray! Now I can go home and sleep! Finally! The torture that is Chemistry 102 is now over! I can now take a short break and not worry until August 24th, which is when I start back for fall semester. Hopefully I can get through it. I seriously don't think I'll be doing another summer course, especially not at my school. I'm still looking into transferring, but I have till April to send in my applications, that's enough time to decide. I'm hoping this week and a half is enough time for me to catch back up on sleep, who knows if I'll get any during the fall. This break also means that I probably won't be posting that much, not that I do that now. It mainly means I probably won't be posting that much on my other blog, the one I review books on. Well anyways this was just suppose to be a short rant about finally being done with summer classes. I am never going through that again!(Hopefully)

Oh and before I forget, I remember that last year I had posted about working at the post office. Well I thought I would still be working there, but they got bought out. I was going to reapply and work for the new company(they really seemed to want me), but I had applied for a couple of other jobs just in case I wasn't guaranteed a job at the post office, which I wasn't. So I had an interview with Special Collections, a branch of the library, and they were willing to hire me that day. So I went to talk to the new boss at the post office, and he told me he would love to have me but there was no guarantee and actually told me to take the job at the library. I wasn't going to argue. I kind of wanted a change. I loved working at the post office, but I have always loved the library and am hoping that this job goes ok. I also liked that they basically guaranteed me a job as long as I informed them of my plans by today. I had talked to the post office on Monday, and then called them that same day. It's the same hours, same pay. It's just a change of scenery. I won't see people as much, but I'm an introvert, I never really liked dealing with arrogant college students anyways. The only reason I say this is because a bunch of them thought they had a right to tell me how to do my job, when they had no idea what they were talking about. One girl even told me to tell whoever puts stuff in the mailboxes to make sure not to cause the boxes to open because hers was open. After talking to one of my supervisors, I was told there was no way we could of caused her box to come open from putting mail in there. She had left it open. I wasn't mad that she told me this, I was mad at the way she said, all high and mighty. No, I'm not going to miss it. I am going to miss being able to tell my friends when their package has gotten there, or being there when mine got there, and being able to get as soon as I processed it. I loved that part. I also really liked my co workers, but only a few of them are going to still be there. I'm really looking forward to my new job. I will most likely start as soon as fall semester starts, which is another plus since the post office couldn't tell me when I would be able to start back if I did get the job.

Now this is really the end of this post.

Alisha

Change...

I want a new look because I feel like I need a change. I need some clothes that tell people who I am. At the moment, I feel neither my clothes nor my hair tell people anything about me. I have always been someone who never wanted to copy what others wear. I wanted my own style, wanted to be as far from the norm that I could handle. Yet in college, I feel like I didn't do this. I feel like I didn't show people the true me when they first met me. It's hard for me to tell people anything, and I think I try to get some things out by wearing what I wear. Again, I think I toned it down when I got to college. I'm not saying I wore crazy clothes in high school. I did wear a mix between punk and skater and I don't know what. It was whatever I felt like wearing that day. I do know that nowadays I just wear jeans and a t-shirt, and I've come to hate this look. I use to wear skirts with colorful leggings and just as colorful Converse. I think I've dressed like this once, and the Converse weren't as colorful and I looked like I was dressing up and no one knew I would wear something like this on a normal day for me. I don't know what happened to me. I know I learned more about myself once I got to college, but yet I changed the one part of me I thought I knew. I changed how I dressed and I don't like it. I don't like it even more that stores I loved to shop at have started selling clothes I would never wear. I love my shoes, but the one time of the year that I am actually willing to wear sandals(I don't like flip flops, I'll only wear them sometimes) they start selling these ugly gladiator sandals. I loathe those shoes. I don't get why no sandal besides the ones for old ladies can be anything but gladiator sandals. If they aren't than they are also just as ugly or hurt my feet. I've had the hardest time finding a pair of sandals to wear that I've gone most of this summer wearing TOMS. I want to be able to find clothes or shoes that scream me! But so far no such luck. It's either make my clothes, which is not really an option since I know only how to use a sewing machine a little bit, or start dressing like everyone else, which I don't want to happen. Again I say, I want to find a look that screams me. I have no idea what type of look suits me, I thought I did, but I can't really say I classify myself as any sort of type of person anymore. I use to dress like a prep in middle school, that's who I thought I was, then in eighth grade I decided I wanted to go more punk but not that over the top. I kept that up till maybe senior year, which is when I just started wearing anything I felt like and if I liked it, it was what I wore that day. I didn't care what people thought, I only cared what I thought, still do. But now I don't like what I wear and think that I've settle for clothes that I probably never really liked. It's not like I hate everything I own. I actually love a lot of the clothes I own, but I feel that I may have this one shirt, but not say a cool cardigan or cool pants or jeans to go with it so the overall affect is gone. Sometimes I don't wear a certain shirt because I feel that if I wear with the jeans I own then they will tone it down, and I'll not be me anymore on the outside. Same thing goes with my hair. I want it long, but my hair doesn't grow that fast and also I feel my hair style isn't me. I feel I'm having an identity crisis but only with the outside. Like I know who I am on the inside but that doesn't come through on the outside. It is completely frustrating most days, and some days I wish I could go on a shopping spree just to find the me on the outside. Just to find those clothes that will finally show people who I am. Maybe it's just in my head that the person I am doesn't come through when I step outside or when I choose what shirt to wear, maybe others can tell what type of person I am, but I think they can't. It doesn't matter if they can, I want to be the one who notices. Because I haven't ever asked someone what they think when  I know I like what I have on, it's only when I'm not sure, and lately I feel like I need to ask people and I hate that. This is just too frustrating. I'm hoping I can find this new look that shows me.

Alisha

What is in a Name?

Alisha:

Meaning: 'Protected by God', 'Trustworthy', and 'Noble.'


Do I fit my name? Am I really "trustworthy" or "noble". Some days I despise that I was given a name that's common. I don't believe myself to be normal, and would like a name to reflect this.  Maybe the spelling isn't common and maybe some people pronounce my name wrong all the time( they don't say it like you would say Alicia). Maybe I wish I had a cool nickname I would allow everyone to call me instead of my name. I do get called different nicknames but by different people. My sister hardly ever calls me by my name anymore preferring to call me Alishie in this weird voice anytime she gets a chance. I get called LiLi, but I don't think people would think that's from my name. I don't want to be called Ali because that's just as common. I would go by my middle name but I don't think it really fits me either. This post may seem like all I'm doing is dissing my name, but I really just wanted to post about if my name really suits me. 


Noble:
Meaning: of an exalted moral or mental character or excellence


Am I noble? Do I have moral and excellent character? I don't want to sound arrogant because I'm not like that at all. I don't like to talk about myself or brag. I do like to tell stories about things that have happened to me, but I'd rather not really talk that much at all. Anyways I believe that I would want to do the right thing whenever possible, and I don't want to ever cause anyone pain. I usually think a lot about things before I even decide to go through with something. It's just how I am, and sometimes I talk myself out of stuff a lot. So maybe I'm noble, but you would have to ask someone else.


Trustworthy:
Meaning :deserving of trust  or confidence; dependable; reliable:


This is what I really would like to be. I do think I can be trusted and dependable. Like I wrote earlier, I don't want to cause anyone pain, and I don't want to let anyone down. I want to be a person, my friends can turn to when they need me. I hope that this comes out to them and that this is how they would describe me besides quiet and sarcastic. 


I was just wondering about this recently, wondering if anyone else wonders if the meaning of their name matches with how they really are. I'm hoping mine does. It's a great meaning, and the type of person I want to be. I didn't talk about the protected by God part because I think that a lot of people are watched over by God even though I'm not that religious. It's also not mentioned on all the other sites I've looked at. I just wanted to focus on what was mentioned on most of the sites.


So do you believe your name matches with how you are?


Alisha 

What Is Up With This?

So Blogger has decided to change everything about it. I kind of like it, but it's gotten me more obsessed with going on here just to look at my page views. I hardly ever cared before, but now I want to know. I blame you Blogger! It makes me wonder who's looking at my blog, and I don't like that it has these off the wall sites that say they're my referring sites. I keep thinking to myself, "How do people find my blog through a site that sales sunglasses?" It's weird, and I sometimes wonder why Blogger even feels the need to tell me this. I guess I like knowing which of my posts are the most popular, but honestly I don't really care that much. I just really want to know how people find my blog from random sites I have never visited and don't pertain to blogs at all. Is it too much to ask just for that?

Previously on The Alisha Show...

So the last time I had posted I talked about a little dream of mine. Nothing too big like saving the world or becoming Batwoman(which would be awesome!), no it was just about me getting to be lazy and watch movies. I'm thinking this dream can be accomplished at any time in my life, so for now it is on hold. It's on hold primarily because I am back at the oh so wonderful Clemson University taking 2 classes instead of 1 this summer session. I wish I hadn't decided to take summer classes. First summer session fooled me into thinking this wouldn't be that bad, but right now I can't stand my Chem 102 class. I don't have the same professor as I did for Chem 101, and I really wish I did. My Chem 101 professor seemed to teach it better, and I got the material a lot easier. It's not like I'm not understanding it this time, I'm one of the few people who actually passed the first test. It's just that I feel like he doesn't really try to get us to understand it. He also wants to use a book none of us have from Chem 101. A book that all the homework's based on, but it costs at least $200, and I won't ever use it again, I'll be using it for a couple of weeks, and I won't get nearly that much back for it when I try to sell it back(if they even allow me to sell it back). I was thinking about getting the ebook, but that costs $100. They really don't want me to get this book. So for now I'm just dealing with it and trying to get through the class so I can go on to Organic in the fall. Mainly I just want to get to the fall semester. I just want to get through all of it. I really wish I could transfer in the spring but I have to wait a year and transfer in the fall. I'm hoping the next year goes by well. Anyways, last time I talked about My World With Netflix, well these next few weeks I have to live in the awful world of My World Without Netflix. I'm not looking forward to it. Wish me luck with these next few weeks!

Alisha

My Ultimate Dream

This is sad but true, my ultimate dream is to have nothing to do and be able to watch random movies on Netflix all day. Ok maybe some days I actually nearly accomplish this dream. Case in point: Saturday. I spent most of it watching random movies and TV shows just because I could. If only this was my everyday life. Seriously that would be a sad yet happy life. I mainly now just want this dream because of being stuck at Clemson all summer. I hate it! I want to be at home. The thing is if I was at home I wouldn't be watching Netflix all day. I only tend to do that when I don't feel like leaving my dorm room. I use to try to be out of my dorm as much as possible because I didn't like being around my roommate or some of my hallmates. I loathed being in an all girls dorm. Now I actually like my dorm but I also don't mind leaving it, but now I have the luxury of actually feeling comfortable enough that I don't feel I have to leave after being in the room for five minutes.

So about this dream of being blissfully happy about watching Netflix movies or random anime shows. This dream will most likely be achieved one day and then I will most likely have to get a real dream like being first woman president or saving the world from some horrible future disaster. But for now I will stick to my insignificant dream that makes no one happy but me. Well it would make others happy if they knew the awesomeness of what is Netflix watch instantly. Some people may think I'm weird for always watching movies on Netflix. It's not like I can watch movies as soon as they come out on DVD. For that I say, who cares. Most recent movies that have come out I don't even want to see. None of them look that appealing or remotely good. The beauty of watching movies on Netflix is that I can watch older movies and indie films I may have never watched before because I was stuck in the bubble I like to call My World Without Netflix. I only watched blockbusters that were sure to draw 100s of millions of viewers. Now I'd rather watch a indie film that's actually really good than something that was made just to earn people a lot of money. I don't just watch anything that pops up on my suggestions list but that has been super helpful. I've gotten into the habit of reading the reviews. I only started paying attention to the stars and reviews after watching a horrible movie that I later went and looked at and read the reviews about and found that nearly everyone who wrote a review said it was awful. Lesson learned. I do have those occasional moments where I'll still watch a movie because the reviews tend to be all over the place so I must find out for myself. I have found many movies I love and had never heard of until I entered what I like to call My World With Netflix. I enjoy this world quite often, yet I am still amazed I have just spent time writing a post about it. At least it's basically free since my brother made the mistake of giving me his password. I will always be grateful to him for that. I also can't believe I did this post since I'm trying to prove I don't have an addiction, and I don't, I swear!!! I am not an addict!!!! I haven't watched movies on there lately, but since I just posted this I'll probably go on there and find something interesting. It's a great way to waste my time when I've been overwhelmed with studying and stress. But i'm still not an addict!!! 

The Torture Is Almost Over

So as of today(Thursday), I am done with Chem lab for a couple of weeks and almost finished with my chemistry lecture. To be honest the class wasn't completely horrible. I do believe that my professor is a little crazy, since he did blow something up in class on purpose. Except for that the class has been fine. I like having less people in it. My professor actually knows me and I've talked to him a few times, unlike during the regular fall or spring semester when classes have over 50 students in them or maybe a 100 or possibly 300 all together, which makes it harder for me to go and talk with my professor. The only thing really bad about my summer so far is that I've spending it at Clemson. A place I have begun to loathe. I thought by the end of spring semester I actually liked it here. Boy was I wrong! No the only thing I like about this place is the friends I made over the year. Other than that I would be happy to be away from this place. I think I have put this in another post that Clemson charges too much. Well they do that for both fall, spring, and summer. Summer is outrageous. I truly hate dealing with financial aid. They are no help, and seem to want to make you end up in debt. If I had known that I would enjoy my major so much, I would of looked more into schools that offer it. Sadly even if I had known, only 72 schools offer Food Science as a major. Most of the schools only have maybe 250 undergraduates in the major. I keep going on collegeboard and other random college search sites hoping that one day the number will change. I want the number to magically increase from 72 to 100 or more as soon as I type in the words "Food Science." I know this will not happen over night, and most likely not even while I'm in college. So for now my only opinions are to stay in the same major, transfer my junior year cause my mom actually said it would be better and I agree with her. Usually she allows me to make this decision. I think her saying I can't transfer during my sophomore year is her getting some say since I have decided that I want to transfer to a school over 1,000 miles away from my hometown. She has to be okay with some part of this. I know that it will be a big change for her. This whole year I've only been 2 and a half hours away and I have a cousin who doesn't live that far away from campus. Now I want to go to a school where I know no one, and there are none of my relatives around. Amazingly, I'm perfectly okay with this. I want to get farther away, not from her, just from my small town. Other than transferring, I could stay at Clemson, and possibly end up miserable and hating it even more. I know there are no guarantees that I will like it wherever I possibly transfer, but it's at least got to be better than where I'm at now. It's making me made just typing this right now. So I'm going to stop and hope that the week off I have to go back and go through this again is at least fun. Hopefully I get to sleep a lot. I'm seriously sleep deprived since I have an 8 AM everyday and tend to not got to sleep when I should. I should know by now that midnight or 1 aren't very reasonable times to go to sleep when I have my alarm set for 6. It's not like I listen to my alarm anyways. I always wake up an hour later. Maybe I'll eventually learn, probably not.

Adios,

Alisha

The Summer Begins

I have moved into my summer apartment. It's HUGE! I didn't expect this since this is Clemson, and they tend to disappoint. Other than having a way bigger dorm than I expected, the summer has been boring so far. It's probably because I have been hanging out in my room doing nothing since my roommate has yet to move in and classes have yet to begin. I did start back to work today but that was also boring. There is hardly anyone on this campus which is to be expected. It's also to be expected that the one dining hall that is open this summer closes at inconvenient times and doesn't serve much. I am looking forward to the rest and for classes to begin and to have something to do besides watch movies on Netflix and catch up on shows I missed. That's all I really have to say for this one. Maybe something interesting will happen this summer, who knows. 

First Year is Over! Yet...

So I finished my first year of college on Thursday, but I still have to go over the summer. I decided to go to school over the summer because I needed to catch up on credits since I didn't take as many as I should have this semester. Yet I am not liking it so far and I haven't even started. This is all due to the fact that my school is charging way too much to just go one summer session, and I have to go both summer sessions. I am already in a ton of debt and I don't even have a job to pay for it all. It's stressing me out to the max, and I can't stop thinking about all the other loans I have to take out later on to pay for the other years I'll be in school. If I ever have to go to school over the summer again, I'm studying abroad. I'm not spending my time in South Carolina when I can spend it over seas in Italy or some other country for basically the same price. So that's the yet part. My first year is over. I made it through. I should be happy, I am, but I'm not at the same time because of how much it costs just to go to school. I seriously need to find a cheaper school that I actually like. I'm not sure how this is going to work out now, but I'll keep you posted about school, summer, and anything else that pops up in my life.

Adios,

Alisha

Decided to start posting random quotes and photos that I agree with or that inspire me. This is just the first one of many pics. There may be one a day, who knows. 

Screaming!!!

That's what I felt like doing earlier today, and still feel like doing just a little bit right now. I wish I could. I wish I could just scream forever. Maybe I'd feel better about everything if I could just finally scream, cry, or anything. But I won't. I just won't for some reason.

Anyways, that's not really what this post is about. What I was wanting to scream about earlier today was how much difficulty I had to go through just to get a new cell phone. Too much if you ask me. Much more than I've ever had to go through when getting one before. First off, I couldn't get it to work online, so I decided to call them and order it over the phone. That would of been easier if my brother knew how to answer the phone. He had to verify the account, and made it look really bad that he wasn't answering the phone. After calling my sis and getting her to tell him(not being very nice about it either), he still doesn't answer, and so I have to hang up all frustrated. So after again calling my sis, I try again and he finally answers the phone. I finally get my new phone ordered, but it's being sent to my home address. The problem with this is I'M NOT THERE! I'm at school, and was hoping I could change the shipping address to my school address, but no, it has to be sent to the address on the account. Screaming was much needed then, but I again resisted. So now I have to wait a week until I go home to get my new phone. One good thing, I'm getting a new phone, because my current phone and I have come to an understanding that we don't like each other very much. It was a tough discussion to have, since you know it's an inanimate object, but it did get the point. We are just not meant to be, so we will finally go our separate ways soon. It will most likely find a better home through ebay, if I can find someone to take a homeless, abused cell phone. I didn't really abuse it. Can you blame me if it just happens to fall from my pocket multiple times? It's not like I threw it, even though I wanted to plenty of times. It's a Sidekick, and huge, and can't really fit in my pocket all the time thus the reason why it falls out of my pocket a lot, especially if it's in my front pocket. Anyways it shall soon find someone who may not drop it as much, but he or she(I never decided what it was) could be treated even worse.

Anyways, besides wanting to scream about getting a new phone(just to let you know that was a very condensed version of what happened, all of it would take very long to type and I don't have that kind of time), and abusing my soon to be old one, I also just want to scream about my roommate. So if you read my post from earlier this week, you know that it was my birthday. I turned a weird age in my opinion. Overall it was a very good birthday, the only problem I had was that my roommate didn't even acknowledge it one bit. She even heard one of our neighbors tell me happy birthday. But her and our neighbor she hangs out with a lot and also someone I don't particularly like since she thinks she can come in my room and basically take over. They both ignored the fact that I even had a birthday, and seemed to ignore me that day as well. I wasn't really upset about that since my roommate and I don't really hang out, but I didn't think we were on such bad terms that she wouldn't acknowledge this at all. That's really all I have to say about it. I wish I had gotten a different roommate a lot of the times, and tend to be very happy when she's not in the room or when I find something to do that makes me not have to be in the room for a very long time. Anyways that was my rant for today. I think technically I started this thing yesterday, but since it's now 12:10 AM, it has run on into the next day. I must of been really frustrated. I still kind of want to scream! 

19, a Weird Age?

So as of midnight, I am now officially 19. It's a weird age to turn if you ask me. You are still considered a teenager, but you don't really feel like one. So I guess it's a transition period between the teens and twenties. I wish I could just skip it and say I'm 20, but no that's not how this world works. Anyways, it's too soon to say how this day will turn out. I do still have classes that I have to attend, and I have to go to work. I feel I'm going to forget that it's even my birthday and think that it's any other Monday. I don't feel any different, and it's not like 18 where I'm able to do all this stuff now. No I'm still just able to do the same things I was able to do a day ago. Nothing's really changed. The only thing different about my life is that I'm in college and away from home, which I'm dealing with a lot better than I thought I would. So let's hope this is a good birthday, and that it's not just any other day, but really if it was I think I would be fine with that. Oh and the above image, I just thought was funny. I don't really believe anyone will forget my birthday. Anyways, it's just a birthday, and not even that big of one too.

Rain, Rain Go Away

Rain has decided to ruin what my friends and I had planned this weekend. We were going to throw our lives away(not really that's just what we kept saying). We had it all planned out, and it was sunny most of this week, but yesterday it just had to be ruined. And today is not any better. I had originally planned to go home, for my birthday, since it's Monday. My sister has her spring break on our birthday, lucky her, but since I wanted to do things here, I decided to stay. Also for some reason, I just don't want to go home. I really don't know why. I actually like home, but it's really different than what I'm used to now. It's only been a couple of months since I've been home, feels like longer, and I haven't missed it that much. It's got me thinking that maybe if I transfer to a school farther away, I can handle it. I can handle being more than a couple of hours away. I really think I can. Anyways, the rain has decided to delay our plans, since they were plans for the outdoors. We might do it Monday, which would make it a great birthday. Maybe we will, who knows. Well this is all for this one. I'm hoping the rain doesn't ruin everything today.

Alisha

Things you don't want to do when you're too stressed out:

1. Eat
 Ok you want to eat a little, but to clarify, I haven't eaten hardly at all today or yesterday. I just don't want to.

2. Work on an English paper.
 Typing 500 words on a movie that I watched the other day, just doesn't appeal to me. Not like it ever did, but I felt more confident about getting it done yesterday morning than I do now.

3. Talk
 I have seen my friends today, but I didn't feel like talking. They think I need to let it out. I think I should just do whatever I feel like is best for me, and right now that's not talking. I have talked to them some, but they don't know the whole story, and I definitely don't want to talk to them about it right now. I just want to sleep and for this nightmare to finally end.

4. Go to class or work
 This one kind of goes with the English paper one. I decided not to go to my Biology class today. It was something I couldn't handle at the moment. I also didn't go to work today. I called in and told them, but if I wasn't going to class than I definitely wasn't going to work. I needed just to rest and try to clear my head.

5. Anything
 Truly this should be the only thing on the list because really I don't want to do anything. I'm wondering at this moment why I'm even typing this. I don't feel like typing 500 words for an essay, but I've probably already typed that much for this one post.

I plan on tomorrow being different. I'm going to try(really try) to just get over it, and move on. I'm going to go to work, if my class wasn't cancelled, I would go to it. So this is me trying to look on the bright side of things. Now I must try to get done with this essay. I have over 250 words, but it's total crap. It probably makes no sense because what I really want to type has nothing to do with the topic of my essay. I can't even really remember everything that was in the movie which only makes things worse. Again I'm going to try to be optimistic(it may not work) and this essay is going to get done. Wish me luck(in life and on this essay)!

This week has not been a good week for me. It has been too stressful and school has not been the cause. Well that's not completely true. I do have a 500 word essay due tomorrow by 5 that I can't concentrate on. It would be a lot easier to write this if I didn't have other problems going on. I don't even feel like typing any of what happened. I just want all of this week to be a dream. This whole semester has felt like a dream. I just want to finally wake up. It has turned into a nightmare. So this is what I will write about what happened this week: that guy that's been confusing me made things worse, so I've decided to move on. It wasn't a decision I wanted to make, but I am making it. That's all I feel like saying. It doesn't really matter what I write about it, it's not going to change what's already happened.

Lazy Weekends

Most weekends I like having something planned to do, but sometimes I prefer what I call a lazy weekend. Theses are the weekends I have nothing planned and intended to have nothing planned. I can just chill. I decided that this weekend would be one of those lazy weekends for me. So far all I've done today is watch some episodes of Skins on Netflix and whatever is on TV. I even woke up late, which I haven't done on a weekend in a while. I would have gone home instead of stay on campus, except I didn't know I wanted this to be a lazy weekend for me. I didn't preplan it. Being back at home I could of been ultimately lazy because there would be no way my friends here on campus could of talked me into doing anything since I would be out of town. Also I probably would have slept in even later than I did today, which would have made my mom mad but me happy. I don't know what else I will do today, I just like having the luxury of not really having to do anything.

So besides the fact that I'm totally confused by a boy, college is actually going well. I'm doing good in every class, except for Biology, but who likes Biology. I'm going to do my best in that class that I can. I did do better than expected on my Psychology exam. I made an A, which amazed me, but I'll take it. I'm also making an A in my second Food Science class. So this semester has been going a lot better than last. The only problem, besides being utterly confused, is that my roommate is not very considerate. She allows our neighbor to stay in our room and watch movies, while I'm trying to go to sleep. I have to work in the mornings, and the TV is distracting. It's not like I go to bed really early, and they also wait forever to watch these movies. 2 AM to be exact. My roommate knows I try to go to bed at least by 1. I told them about this last semester when they did the same thing. It made our neighbor actually not come into the room for a while. I'll have to talk to her soon about this if things don't change. I've been avoiding my room most days. I usually hang out with my friend that stays on the floor above me. She doesn't have a roommate, lucky her. Sometimes I end up falling asleep in there, or staying till I think my neighbor has left. Sometimes she's still in there. With the location of the TV, it's kind of awkward to try to sleep, since they are kind of looking at me at the same time. I also don't like trying to sleep with people still awake talking. So as you might have figured, I haven't been sleeping that well. I had to resort to naps, which I don't usually take. Besides this little problem and the other, everything else has been fine. I'm enjoying actually being here, and I'm glad I didn't take the semester off like I was thinking about during the middle of last semester. I would have missed out on too much that I've done so far this semester, and that would have been just sad. I'm also looking forward to next year. I'm going to be glad to have someone else to room with. So that's my rant about what's been going on lately. I hope I didn't sound like I was complaining too much in this post and the last one.

Alisha

Life Can be Confusing

So college is hard, we all know that. At least I hope all of us know that. I wish it was easy, but it's not. I'm not just talking about classes, I'm talking about everything else as well. What do you do when you like this guy, and you're pretty sure that he likes you, but he hasn't asked you out. I need to rephrase that: more like I've asked him to do things, but he hasn't asked me. I feel like I've been the one taking the lead on this thing, and I feel I shouldn't be the one. He confuses me too much, and I can't concentrate on anything else but what's going on with him. It's awful! I can barely eat around this guy, but it's not because I don't want him to see me eat. It's because my stomach feels weird whenever he's around, and it's hard to want to eat something. I just want to go up to him one day and ask him what's going on with us. I just want to know. I think I will feel a lot better if I could just do that. I think I might be able to concentrate on other things, but I won't know that for sure till I ask him, or he just tells me one day. So this problem isn't just in college, but I'm in college, so I'm making it a college problem. And he also goes to the same school as me. I see this guy randomly except for days we've planned to eat breakfast together. If I run into him while on my way to class, I feel like skipping that class and just going to hang out with him. He told me one day, after I had ran into him on his way to class(I didn't have a class that day, since it was cancelled), that he would of have rather skipped that class just for me. I did make him late, but he didn't care. He says things like this to me all the time, and it's hard to respond when I feel like I'd just sound like an idiot. He's sweet and nice, and is always saying he'll do something or go somewhere just for me. But he hasn't told me he likes me or asked me out. This is why it's confusing. I'm pretty sure he likes me(or at least I hope he does), and I'm pretty sure he knows I like him. I think he figured that out a while ago. I just want to know what's going on.

Creative Inquiry

I bet you are wondering what that is. Well for starters it is something that only Clemson has. It's where you join this team and do research. Of course in Food Science, the Creative Inquiry teams are all about food. I thought in the beginning that only Food Science has this, but other majors here do too. In Food Science sometimes the teams focus on more than coming up with new recipes. Actually, I don't think really any of the teams do that. Some of them research the effects certain foods have on teenagers and children. Some research how to overcome obesity. There's even one about the extinction of gingerbread. My academic advisor is doing that one, and I so wanted to join, but by the time I could register for classes it was filled. Anyways, the Creative Inquiry team I'm on, we study the aromas of herbs and spices. That's the general overview. There's more to it. I just thought I would post about this since I met my mentor for the first time today. He showed me and another person on the team the lab, and he told us how it's the number one lab in the US. He also told us how we have things that other Food Science departments at other colleges don't have. I was happy to learn this that they try to be the best here even in the smaller departments. He also told us about what he expected and that he doesn't fail anyone and doesn't expect freshmen to do all the same things as his graduate students. I was happy to find out that I couldn't fail it. Overall I really enjoyed meeting my mentor, and cannot wait to get started. It made me like my choice of major that much more. I'll probably be posting more about this as the semester progresses.

Off To a Great Start

So far second semester has been going well except for the snow. I love snow, but when it overstays its welcome that's when I start hating it. For starters, it caused me to have a really hard time getting to campus on the day I wanted to get there. It also delayed classes and me starting back at my job. I didn't mind classes being cancelled for a day, but I did mind not being able to go to work. It confused me with the times I should go in. Other than that I am liking my second semester of college. I've spent most of it hanging out with my friends and avoiding staying in my room. This is not because of my roommate in case you were thinking that. No this is cause if I stayed in my room all I would have to do is study or watch movies on my laptop to avoid studying. I did get all my work done. I just took my time getting to it, which is a bad habit that I will try to work on this semester. Some other goals of mine this semester are to meet more people and find an extracurricular activity. I also want to keep my blogs going, but that may prove harder than I first thought, since first semester I tried the same thing. Well this is all I'm going to post for now. I will post more later maybe even again this week. Hopefully something exciting happens.


Alisha

New Beginning

So I haven't posted on here in forever. So I thought since it's the beginning of my second semester of college and a new year, I should make my New Year's revolution to post more consistently. It will be for this blog and the other. I hope I stick with it.

Anyways, what you missed of last semester:

Passed every class, but not with the grades I would of liked to have.

Getting along with the roommate.

Met a lot of cool people, and made a couple of really good friends. 

Went to a party that didn't go like expected.

Got sat on by a drunk Australian on the CAT(Clemson Area Transit) Bus. He thought he knew me.

Spent a lot of time walking downtown and renting random movies. 

Loved my job for the most part except for when I was the only student employee there. 

Couldn't wait to come back.

So that's the jist of what happened last semester. There was a lot more but that would take many posts, which is what I should of done. This semester I will hopefully post at least once a week. I am really looking forward to my new schedule. I have English and psychology. My classes also don't start till 12, no morning classes except for a 9 o'clock Biology lab.

So that ends this one, keep looking back for more. 

Alisha